youre lurking in front of me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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