oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you will always have a special place in my vag
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
