whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
