so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
