Don't you send me to vm
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
