Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
