my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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