Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
