She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize