How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
