is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
