I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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