Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
