aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize