so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
