so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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