i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
