im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
