He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
