I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
