Welp...herpes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
