these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
