I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
