she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
