Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
