the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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