This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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