He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
this boner is exhausting
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't want my vagina anymore.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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