Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
