Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
