Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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