Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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