It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Will exercising make me less horny?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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