just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
