I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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