The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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