I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
