I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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