I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
