Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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