hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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