I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
