Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
