I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
