I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
