I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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