I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
be right there i have to get my cape
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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