i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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