i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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