So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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