I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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