watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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