They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
