we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
