Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
