watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
