Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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