apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Blood and glitter go together right?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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