He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
