She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
